Moms Who Travel

The NY Times has an article in their business section today about how moms who travel for work look forward to that time. And that’s true. When I travel, I love not having to cut someone else’s food, or remind them to sit down, chew with their mouth closed or have to wipe anyone’s bottom. I love not having to go from the car after the commute home to a few moments to sit down right to bath and bedtime. I look forward to ordering room service, watching something other than Kim Possible or the Fairly OddParents, and reading a book.

C knows I travel for work. I try never to be away for more than 3 nights, and C is ok with it. She gets to spend time with daddy, and things are probably a bit more relaxed than when I’m involved.

Now, the Times tends to present their subject as if every mom who traveled for work had the same travel opportunities. I’ve worked in NYC, and even when I did, I never got to stay at a Four Seasons or some spa resort destination. (Ok I did get to stay at the Broadmoor one time, but that was after I had left the city, and it was a boondoggle that us “peons” haven’t been invited back to since).

But what really really bothers me is not so much the tone of the article, but the comments on the article. Why does it have to be black or white? Some commenters seem to think if one enjoys the time away from their child, that makes them a bad parent (not their exact words, but the insinuation is there). Why is it that some people don’t understand that I can enjoy the alone time and miss my daughter too? I don’t think it’s an either/or situation.

And why is there no article about dads/husbands who travel for work? I know a few guys I work with have said they enjoy that time alone too. Don’t kids benefit from the attention from both parents? So why not beat up on the dads, too?

Now, I realize that if all the parents of the world united there could probably be some real change in the way work (either for a corporation or for the family) gets done. But it wouldn’t sell papers, so you’re probably not going to read about that. But it should be something to think about. I honestly hope C doesn’t have to feel like she needs to defend any choice about parenting she makes (whether she works full time outside the home or stays home with kids).