Five stars?

D has a post up at his place, about how he feels he's been putting in a five star performance at work (and not exactly five stars at home). I started thinking about the last time I felt like I had put in a five star performance at work. Probably hasn't occurred since the second line showed up on the test, oh, about five years ago now.

It's not that I don't want to put in a five star performance at work, but a sustained, five star performance? The first two years of C's life felt like she and I lived at the ped's office. Ear infections, walking pneumonia, hand foot and mouth disease...and a memorable Thanksgiving week right after she turned one where she and I spent the better part of the week sleeping on the chair because she was just so sick (nothing major, but I eventually had to insist on being seen by the ped because she just wasn't kicking that nasty bug on her own). I think for that one I had to also ask D to stay home with her at least the Wed before Thanksgiving, so I could go in to work to just touch base.

Couple that with getting through teething, and the assorted other reasons she wakes up during the night (it's not so bad now, she just wanders into our room and asks to climb in bed)... and I just feel perpetually tired. I'm actually starting this week off feeling tired because she came in bed with us last night and she's a cover hog, plus she kicks and squirms and I have a hard time sleeping with everyone all jammed up against me.

Then we have the working mom guilt....which I should realize is all in my head, but can't help. So I end up taking a day off here and there to spend with her. Then throw in the fact that even though D works one town over, if she needs anything at school, who do they call?

So the days where I would feel like I had really accomplished things at work are few and far between. There've been no complaints, but maybe that's because I'm harder on myself than anyone else, too.