Monsters, or whatever gets you through the night

Additional material for the things my child will be telling a therapist later in life:

Putting Clare to bed tonight, she says she's scared of what's under her bed...feigning ignorance, I ask her why she's scared of Princess Monopoly or "the cake game" (Clue Jr.). Not games mom! The monsters! Monsters under the bed.

Thinking fast, I tell her that when we bought the house we had a monster fence installed. And it makes a noise that only monsters can hear so it scares them away.

I asked her if she heard the noise. She looked at me all wide eyed and said no. I reply good, because if she heard the noise, that means she's a monster too!

Telling her to close her eyes because then the monsters won't be able to see her, I kiss her good night and tell her sweet dreams.